This is showbiz, and there are many conflicting egos that come with the territory. Sometimes, people act strangely if they think that something is endangering their livelihood. It can show up anywhere: people fighting for promotions, for roles, for the better shifts, the better employer. To have a successful career, we have to know how to deal with uncomfortable situations or personalities. Instead of being on the attack and fuelling the fire, being the bigger person usually provides a better result. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
To have a successful career, we have to know how to deal with uncomfortable situations or personalities. Instead of being on the attack and fuelling the fire, being the bigger person usually provides a better result. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
Step 1. Talk to them directly.
Oftentimes, strange feuds begin from misinterpreted emails or texts. Verbal conversations create rapport and can clear up most misunderstanding quickly. In this age of electronic communications, the act of initiating conversation demonstrates great people skills and leadership qualities.
Step 2. Acknowledge them.
Be the bigger person in this situation. Let go of the grudges you may have toward them. This is an opportunity to truly express something positive about the person. Let them know that they matter (“You probably don’t hear it enough, but you’re incredible at your job,” “I’m new around here, and I really look up to you because…”). Often, people just want to be recognized. That alone could be all it takes to clear the air. Be genuine, and they will see that they are dealing with a compassionate person.
Step 3. Take responsibility.
Express what has been occurring with you, and where you have been insecure. This is not an accusation of what you think that they’ve been doing. It is an opportunity for you to come clean with what’s been running through your head. This issue may have been entirely within your mind, and they’ve picked up on a strange energy. Whether or not what you believe has happened is factual or not, it gives you an opportunity to come clean on your end (“I’ve been avoiding you because…”, “I’ve been acting weird around you because…”, “I’ve been really worried that I’ve done something to hurt you…”).
Step 4. Take new action.
Make a request for new lines of communication. Express that the relationship is important to you, and that you’re taking responsibility for what they can expect on your end. Propose a new action which creates a win-win situation (“If there’s anything I can do to make your life easier…”, “If you feel like I’m out of line, please just come to me.”). This open-door policy allows for a clear line of communication. At very least, you’ve defused a potential brooding blowup, into a new workable dynamic.
The quickest way to squash a potential enemy is to genuinely make them your friend.